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Questions to Ask Seniors That Spark Connection and Stories

Written by Discovery Senior Living | May 5, 2025 4:00:00 AM

Have you always wanted to learn more about your loved one? Would you like a more detailed version of your family history? As your parents age, bonding in senior living becomes increasingly important.

Having a conversation with seniors in Shiloh, IL is a great family activity that can help you learn more about your family history. Here are some questions to ask seniors in your life.

Tips for Engaging Elderly Parents

Connecting with your older loved ones does not have to be challenging. Read on to learn about some tips for productive and insightful conversations.

Create a Safe Environment

Start the conversation somewhere that is familiar to your loved one. Consider interviewing them in their assisted living community, so they can feel comfortable and safe.

Assure them that you will not pass judgment. This could encourage them to share intimate details.

If you aren't in their personal space, make them as physically comfortable as possible. Set them up on a comfortable couch or chair, ensuring easy access to pillows, blankets, or other comfort items.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Simple questions will yield short answers. Ask questions that will allow your loved one to elaborate and transition into other details about their life.

For instance, you can say to them, "Tell me about your favorite person growing up." They may give you the name of the individual, but then segue into memories associated with the person.

You can also write down the questions you would like to ask, then jot additional questions down for follow-ups. If they give a short answer, prompt them to expand on the response with a follow-up question.

Respect Boundaries

Sharing details about one's past can be challenging for anyone. Recollecting memories can bring up painful emotions or traumatic events. It is essential to respect your elderly loved one's boundaries.

Observe them when you ask the questions, and while they answer them. If you see any of the following, it may be a good idea to ask about their boundaries or back away from the subject at hand:

  • Hostile tone of voice
  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Attempting to change the subject
  • Visible signs of anxiety
  • Closed-off body language
  • Restlessness or fidgeting

Ask your elderly loved one which inquiry triggered a reaction. If they respond, don't bring it up again unless prompted by them.

Practice Active Listening

Show your loved one that you are engaged. Even if they go off on a tangent or begin discussing a less interesting subject, it is crucial to convey that you value their time and experiences.

Some of the key traits of active listening include:

  • Verbal confirmations
  • Nodding your head
  • Undivided attention
  • Empathy
  • Reflecting and paraphrasing
  • Patience

Active listening can also benefit you as the interviewer. You'll be able to foster empathy and see situations from your elderly parent's or loved one's point of view.

Questions to Ask Seniors

You might feel overwhelmed considering the types of questions to ask the seniors in your life. Write down some of the most important questions before you meet with them, so you'll know exactly what to ask.

Don't know where to begin? Here are some great starter questions to try.

What Is Your Favorite Childhood Memory?

For most older folks, harkening back to their childhood brings up memories:

  • Peace
  • Comfort
  • Love
  • Nostalgia

Your loved one may recount a valuable memory from school or an activity they enjoyed with their parent or grandparent. The key takeaway is understanding how different the world was back then.

Do You Have a Favorite Recipe or Dish?

Food brings families together, and it is also strongly associated with memories, whether good or bad. A childhood recipe or dish may bring back powerful recollections from the past.

Here are some follow-up questions to engage them even further:

  • Who did you make the recipe with?
  • When did you first try the dish?
  • Do you still make the dish today?
  • Do you have a copy of the recipe?
  • Can you teach me how to make the dish?

One of the best senior storytelling tips is to connect the memories with a physical experience. If your loved one has access to the dish or recipe, consider making it together.

What Were Your Parents or Grandparents Like?

Insight into older generations is invaluable, especially if you did not have the opportunity to meet them. Your elder relatives may have grown up with parents or grandparents who lived more than a century ago.

Inquire about the habits and hobbies of individuals from older generations. Gain insights into:

  • How they cooked
  • What their school was like
  • What they did for fun
  • Things they did with their own children
  • The technology they used

For a follow-up conversation, ask if they believe they inherited habits or traits from previous generations.

What Have You Enjoyed About Your Life Lately?

You don't have to limit your questions to distant childhood memories. Bring things back to the near present by inquiring about what your loved one valued about life in their golden years.

Inquire if they have discovered new hobbies or formed new friendships. They may have found a renewed passion for exercise or taken up needlework.

Ask whether senior life aligns with their expectations. Did they have different retirement plans? Are there still things on their bucket list they're hoping to accomplish?

Bonding in Senior Living at Addington Place of Shiloh

Next time you engage with your loved ones, you'll have plenty of conversation topics. With this list of questions to ask seniors, family visits in care will be that much more special.

Would you like more opportunities to create memories with your loved one in a peaceful environment? Consider Addington Place of Shiloh Senior Living. Our thriving community in Shiloh, IL works to provide residents with the highest quality of care to meet unique needs.

Are you ready to transition to a community where you can make lasting memories? Reach out to us today to learn more, or come visit our campus in person. We look forward to hearing from you!